i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
