Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
