hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nutella sex= disaster
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
