I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
