He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
