Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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