i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
