Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
