After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
