i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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