i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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