do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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