the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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