when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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