party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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