THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
