counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
