ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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