I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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