lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
