we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
