Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
