Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
