are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
