i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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