you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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