ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
