This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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