I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
