The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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