I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
