True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
