i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
