but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
