DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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