I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Houston, we have a blender
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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