I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
