I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
