I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
