Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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