I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
