Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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