some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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