I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
