Yo dont text me then not text me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
