doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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