Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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