My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
vagina is talking i cant
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
