the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
