i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
