Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
