Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
