im having a threesome with these popsicles
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
