So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
